if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
