I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
