we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
