we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
