Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
