I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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