I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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