There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
