Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
