So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
