ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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