I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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