We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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