The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
