Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize