it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
should my penis look like a turkey
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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