Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
