i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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