matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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