I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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