what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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