I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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