I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
