i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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