Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
