so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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