btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Pants are for mortals
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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