I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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