Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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