The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
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I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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