I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
