I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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