I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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