This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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