that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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