you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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