i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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