Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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