Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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