She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
