Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize