Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize