Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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