worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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