Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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