strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
