And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
