Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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