i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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