Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
