Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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