I smell stomach acid.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
