You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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